Theory of Reproduction

WARNING!!!!
This document is exclusively for males!!!! If you are a female then leave now!!!!

  1. Introduction
  2. Realizing the Need to reproduce
  3. Looking for a reproducator
  4. Testing
  5. Awaiting
  6. Fulfillment

Introduction

Many people want to reproduce themselves, but they often do it without any previous experiences. Aim of this little document is to help those people (subjects later on in this document) to realize what do they want from reproducing and what difficulties they should be aware of when starting the reproduction process. And hopefully, after reading this, they would consider abandoning the process and this way helping the overpopulation problem.
Also this could help subjects' friends to notice that the subjects are in the process of reproduction.
This process can be divided into 5 main phases, which I named Realizing, Looking (for), Testing, Awaiting and Fulfillment.

Realizing the Need to Reproduce

 The first sign of starting this process show a subject's distraction from the reality. Also not as strong as in the second phase, it is noticeable to a trained eye.

Looking for a Reproducator

There are more ways how to find a reproducator, but I observed these main behavior patterns among subjects:
  1. To prefer physical properties. The main decisive factor is the reproducator's outlook (this is probably the most common way)
  2. To prefer intelligence to the reproducator's beauty (the so-called Vozar's choice). I observed this tendency only with subjects with seriously disrupted judging abilities, e.g. after the abrupt end of a previous reproduction process.
  3. The balanced mix of these two (AKA Pospisil's delusion)
  4. To take whatever comes in the way (AKA Holik's method)
  5. To try one reproducator after another, until the subject finds the right one, or is totally exhausted (AKA Havran's probe)
Note that these methods are divided according to subject behavior, not the gained reproducator - he might not be what the subject had been looking for. This is especially dangerous in the Vozar's method, when one can easily verify the beautylessness of the potential reproducator, but not the intelligence. Also the Pospisil's delusion is usually what the subject tries to gain, but the danger of slipping into the Vozar's choice is great.

Testing

 When the reproducator is chosen, the most important phase (except for the actual reproduction) takes place. The reproducator must be tested thoroughly and completely, to decide whether the reproducator is suitable for a reproduction. The most important part is to check the reproducator's sex: it's a very bad idea to choose a male reproducator! This phase is although the most dangerous of the four. The subject's IQ drops rapidly, his perception of reality is severely screwed. All he is able to think of is the reproducator and reproduction process. Spontaneous change into the fourth phase can occur!

Awaiting

 This phase is sometimes a result of careful subject's planning, but often the subject finds himself deeply in this phase, when he has thought that he is still safely in the third phase (a sign of lowered IQ). This phase has an interesting aspect: the subject shows all the signs of being in the third phase, until he actually realizes the current stage. Then his IQ usually reverts to the pre-reproduction value, but it's too late... The sudden rise of IQ can damage the neuropsychological balance of the subjects and the subject may end in a psychiatric institution, or even in a marriage.
Note: Some subjects do not experience the rise of IQ, and they are often wiling to participate in the wedding ceremony. They mental abilities may return in the future, but as I think about their future fate, it seems better for them not to gain their previous capabilities of recognizing the reality. Such a subject can live relatively happy, though miserable (from not-involved viewpoint) life.
Other phases may be very variable as for the duration, but Awaiting has fixed length of 9 months (although exceptions happen, and the length between 7-9 month is considered normal)

Fulfillment

 Everything is decided, reproduction is at the end. The subject's IQ might endure another attack at the very moment of reproduction and stay at quite a low level for several days, but returns to normal soon.
After this phase, the subject can repeat the process of reproduction either whit the same reproducator (starting at phase 3) or with a completely new reproducator, starting from phase 1 or 2. The adventurous types can think even of a multitasking, though the risk of conflicting processes is great and consequences are not to be laughed at.

This document is copyright of Radovan Garabik. You can do whatever you want, download it to your disk, upload it wherever possible, make a hardcopy of it and use as a toilet-paper, I don't care, as long as you retain the author's credits and do not change the text. However, you can translate this document into any language you want and are able to.

Acknowledgements:
This document would not be possible without unselfish help of many people, especially of: Peter Pospisil, Marek Krasnansky, Karol Posluch, Andrej Cipciar, Marek Havran, Jan Gregus, Miroslav Figlar, Patrik Harant, Vladimir Kuric, Jan Vozar, Jan Slovak, Peter Holik, Andrej Gendiar, Peter Klenovsky, Peter Begeni, Juraj Thuroci, Andrej Hrmo, Peter Chochula, Pavol Mala, Zdenko Machala, Michal Kreps, Dusan Zovinec, Juraj Bracinik, Peter Bukva, Gregor Krajcovic, and their respective reproducators.